Happy New Year!  I learned so much last year in recovery from codependency and having a husband who is recovering from addiction.  I learned that if I want things to be better in my life, I have to do things differently than I have been doing them, or nothing will change.  But real lasting change comes when I admit that I can’t change on my own.  Only through God’s power and healing is true change possible.  Ironically one of the bravest things I’ve done is to surrender to my savior.  Bravery and surrender are usually on opposing sides, but when it comes to recovery they are complimentary.  It takes bravery to walk into the doors of a recovery program because there is an admission of not being able to do it alone.  It takes bravery to face the truth about yourself including hurts you have inflicted and hurts inflicted upon you.  But coming to see just how much God individually loves us, we can trust him with all of those things in our lives. 

Today I am releasing my new song “Brave”.   My prayer is that it will inspire others that change is always possible through Jesus Christ,  no matter how far gone you feel your life is.

Quite a year it has been with many changes and much growth.  I’m learning to live in today and enjoy each moment.  This time of year,though it’s time to look back and remember the incredible love that God showed by humbling himself and coming to experience all that we experience every day in this broken world.  I often take for granted that I have a personal relationship with Christ and can persue that relationship freely.  So many in the world cannot.  So I am reminded just how incredible this gift is and how blessed I am to be His daughter.  I also want to pray for those who don’t know of this hope or could lose their life by proclaiming his name.  I wanted to share my version of the song “Here with us” by Joy Williams to celebrate the wonder of the creator of the universe being here, relating to us.  Coming to fully experience all the pain, but with incredible purpose.  To show that we were worth saving.  Just remember how much He loves you and the incredible measure God took to show that love.  No matter what loss or grief you may be feeling, He was willing to feel grief and pain to know what we go through.  And he has a purpose beyond our comprehension to bring healing to His children.

I along with my family want to wish everyone and incredibly Merry Christmas!!  

Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

Matthew 1:23 KJV

My new song reveals what it’s like to work a program like celebrate recovery.  In recovery, leaving the dark place is often not an instantaneous thing.  The lies one believes can enslave them to become stuck in one or more hurts, habits, or hang ups.  Coming out of that darkness takes time and healing and allowing the Lord to lead us to the root of that destructive thought pattern or behavior. In my own recovery from fear, codependency and anxiety I can easily get swallowed up by the sea of thoughts and feelings in my head that are chaotic at times and have no order and many times are not true.  God, through recovery, allows me to give a voice to those thoughts and feelings so I can put them to rest.  Then I can move forward in my life making decisions based on God’s truth rather than making decisions based on FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) an acronym from my husbands sponsor.  It is one of the most freeing things I have ever done and I am on the journey everyday to become more free to live out the life that God intended for me.  I also have become more free to receive the fact that I am his child and that he loves me so much.  He wants me to be free and wants me to thrive.  I have been paralyzed far too long.  
I Peter 2:9 -But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Lord, let me see what I need to see when I need to see it.  I’m the kind of person that will just shut down if I see too much or get too much advise.  In the middle of my husband’s addiction I was afraid to see what I knew was the truth.  Denial seemed like a much better option at the time, but I couldn’t hide from it forever.  God allowed me to face that my husband was in trouble and our finances were going down in flames.  He also allowed me to see that I was in desperate need of healing myself both emotionally and physically.  But these insights came over time when I was ready.  He will not put on us more than we are able to bear.  Sometimes the truths God showed me “cut like a knife”.  Until I accepted them as reality, though, I could not move forward.  I am learning everyday to trust Him to show me what I need to see for that moment.  I’m learning to not get ahead of Him so I don’t go into shut down mode and become paralyzed.  He will be faithful to lead me if I follow and put my complete trust in Him every minute.  That’s a promise!  One I can count on.  One that will never fail!  Many things in my life I trusted in couldn’t be counted on. What an incredible relief to know, He will always be faithful!  We have done a refreshed version of this song.  I hope you enjoy it.

After Easter it’s the season for starting something new.  And God has been prompting me to start this. So come and enjoy my website and check out my news on what’s new in my life as a follower of Jesus and as a musician. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.